Accidents will happen (kill_for_kicks) wrote,
Accidents will happen

  • Mood:
I have become. SO anti-social , I don't even know how to act in the rare occassion that I actually do go out. I am so involved in my own thoughts and not having to deal with the infiltration of others, that when I DO, I don't know. what. to. say. I think its at the point now where it has gotten unhealthy.
Where do you find the equal balance of individual self-knowing and going out to meet new people? New people suck. I went to the pink last night, and sat in a bar stool and observed everyone. I wanted to be invisible and so I was. Then I get depressed and ultra-girly, "am i ugly am i fat what's wrong why aren't people talking to me????" I am such a damn girl sometimes. Even the few people i see that I am interested in having a conversation with, ie "vibe boy" at school, I don't know what to say to them. All signs I give out point to stay away (arms crossed head down...) but sometimes I wish they'd just say fuck it she rules and tear the shell down i put up.
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